Men’s Business …

Day 8: Saturday 31 March (10pm, Ayr)

Today was a day of learning about men’s business.

It began with our trip to Bowen to deliver Shelley to her special role for the rest of this adventure. We were picked up by Eddie and Dorothy’s brother, Alfred - number 4 in the family for those who are counting and affectionately known as Uncle Bim.

Bim is another very special man who gives up much of his time for his people and the community. He also prefers to remain in the background, so I don’t feel as though I can share a lot of what he told us, but to give you a small perspective on why helping our Indigenous men is so important, I’ll try to share some of what he taught us here.

Bim’s professional role is with Murri Watch. In this job, he meets with indigenous men and women to teach them that if they don’t follow Indigenous LORE (land, origin, respect, elders), they will inevitably end up in trouble with the Law. So he meets the accused person while they are staying in the watch house and talks to them about what they’ve done. There is a lot of shame involved in this process, so it’s not unusual for a man to go to court, keep his head down and simply respond ‘guilty’ when asked, regardless of the reason for his misdemeanour. Bim works with them to understand the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ and then encourages them to speak up in the court. As an Elder, seated right next to the magistrate in the court, he is often called upon to help finish the telling of a tale if the accused can’t for any reason. It must sound strange to those who are new to the Murri Court when the magistrate calls on ‘Uncle Bim’ to help with the proceedings!

Bim uses quite a few tools to help heal his people emotionally. He facilitates a program that helps the men learn to get back the warrior strength that the indigenous people once had. He draws on analogies that the men can relate to and uses his own experiences and personal struggles to help the men see that they really don’t want to go to gaol. He shows them that if they go in, there is a risk that when they come out, they may find that the government has given their wives such good benefits that they don’t necessarily want the men back. This creates more shame and that’s when the men typically turn back to old, negative ways. He teaches them to take pride in their history and to reach deep into their emotions to be the warrior and remember the strength that they need to survive.

Bim didn’t necessarily like the way that some of the healing processes he had used in the past were working. With the best of intentions, it seemed that the men were not being taught to explain to their women what they were doing to recover or heal themselves, and this led to more problems which placed the healing programs at risk. He found that men would come back to him asking how to deal with their women. The men complained that their women sometimes questioned whether they had another woman if they started taking the kids to the park or asked if the other woman had a better house if they suddenly began washing dishes. He could see a gap in the systems, so he began his own Men’s Shed and of the men he commenced with in September last year, not one has re-offended – this is such an amazing success that he is drawing attention and being asked to consult professionally. Despite this, he’s very humble about the part he is playing, but you can see and hear the pride in his voice. His Men’s Shed began in the lounge room of his apartment, grew out to the carport so the men could talk in the open air, and now he’s looking for a tree big enough to set up seating in a wide circle all the way around its trunk so that the men can talk where they feel most comfortable. He talks to the men openly about his life story; about being in gaol himself; about 24/7 partying; about stopping the drink eight years ago and having a better life in so many ways since then. He speaks to them very honestly and openly and always from his heart.

Bim and another friend recently painted a mural of the Gubulla Munda on the wall of the women’s prison. He found that in the men’s prison, the inhabitants were typically from this area, so they could share their common stories and lore and help each other. In the women’s prison, many of the women were from other areas and as each part of the country is very different to the indigenous people, he found that the women were exceedingly fearful. He noticed that there were three blank walls in the women’s prison and decided to paint a mural and story of the Gubbula Munda on one wall. He left the remaining two walls blank and explained to the women that they should get together to paint their own totems on those walls. He said that if their daughters and granddaughters would one day come here, they would see the paintings and be reminded of their stories which would calm then and they’d realise that they did not need to be so scared.

Jim and Bim with me and the Gubulla Munda and her Brolgas

So my round trip to Bowen was filled with more fascinating education! As we drove into this part of the country, Bim had interrupted a tale to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land, just as he always does when he moves through the countryside. We stopped at Jim’s – a good friend to Gudjuda, local Elder and one of the traditional owners of this land. Even though Bim could have told us the stories we were about to hear, he respected that this was Jim’s role so we stopped off to see the sister totem to our Gubulla Munda in Ayr and heard from Jim about the significance of this place. In the past, a pair of brolgas was always seen around here. The waterways are not quite the same nowadays, so they no longer stop here, but their spirit is in this memorial and watching over the ancient bones buried here. We gave them all a Wadda Mulli to acknowledge their spirits and ensure we were looked after while here.

Her eyes watched us no matter where we stood!





I'm not going to explain this ...                                                
                                   ... come to Bowen and see for yourself!

 

Now to make you all really jealous – the 360˚ café on Flagstaff Hill is Shelley’s ‘office’ for the next four weeks. Check out this view! It’s the top of the Whitsunday’s, an hour from Airlie Beach and surrounded by the most beautiful blue seas. The bay below us is where the turtle tagging takes place. With the sun shining down on us, we were in heaven! I don’t know how Shelley is going to focus on anything as all I’d be thinking of would be cruising those gorgeous islands for the afternoon, with a cocktail in one hand and a fan in the other with an umbrella protecting me from the rays and …

Sorry – lost it there for just a moment but it’s all good – Steve arrives in time for the Easter weekend this week, so we’ll be heading back to Bowen very soon, for sure! :)